Heartfelt Ramble Bunnies!

So my mom was having one of her usual freak out fests this evening...saying (among many other slightly delusional but amusing pearls of wisdom) that my husband should sell car parts to South America so we can live in Florida? I don't know either but I'm sure it makes sense in a parallel universe. She also disagreed with everything I said about everything so I ended up simply saying "Yup" and "Sure thing" until she stopped. Then she proceeded to tell me that  my brother is getting a new job, will fix his car, find a nice girl, go to counseling, and that their basement is almost clean! For those of you reading this (all two of you!) these are things my mom has been saying for over 8 years and not one of those things has ever come to fruition. She then asked me if my classes were finished even though she'd already commented on my final grades....

Moving on....I really like seahorses, pine trees, macaroni and cheese, anything highly caffeinated (can you fucking tell? ahahaha), and shadow puppets. I do not however like people who are obnoxious and smelly and loud, much like our next door neighbors! I wish we had a balcony but I don't want a two-story house...figure that one out. No don't. Also this book I'm reading is a hoot and a holler. I'm up to the part where the guy and the girl are being chased by the weird demonic guy who's a serial killer and then there's these ghosts and something about a wedding and a weird time space continuum issue going on. I wish I knew how to knit! I like this song. I should dust the computer room again - it's getting oogey in here. I don't like dusting because it requires moving things and because I'm a perfectionist and always see dust so it makes me depressed to dust and not get it all. Our cat is being super cute right now. I'm thirsty.

Oh did I tell you? I hate shoe shopping and clothes shopping but I'll probably have to do both before the wedding in August so that's gonna give me shingles I bet. Or at the very least a bad case of the hibblie jibblies. Especially JC Pennys what the fuck is up with that shit? You walk in there and are bombarded by a putrid smell and neon blazers. And the music! Seriously if you wanted me to just turn around and leave than you have succeeded! Tools! Ok and what is up with the women's section...then 50 other useless sections like fucking tablecloths and broken plastic flowers and THEN women's dresses....why are they not together? Why do I have to go traipsing through this godforsaken store to find some neat stylish garments that will make me feel fun and fashionable while not breaking the budget!?  It makes me want to cry into a cheese calzone!

So I'm pretty psyched about our sister coming over on Saturday for some fucking pot roast it's gonna be hot! Then to see Shrek 3 because I swing that way and then to have the hubble bubble home on Monday! I'm psyched about that because maybe I can talk him into taking me to that fucking pottery barn store. Or maybe I should wait until my birthday next Saturday. I'm not excited about getting older but I am excited about ....food I guess. And my lemon cake! And maybe going to that fucking pottery barn. They're expensive but make me feel sophisticated so fuck off! Just kidding! Kisses! Hey we should all get together to watch that special that was on TV back in the late 1980's about those nuns in that nunnery somewhere in France cycling in bed because they were anorexic Does anyone else remember that? That was so super! We should all get the DVD.

I should probably get a job of some sort instead of being such a damn slacker. I'm just so busy being a slacker I hardly have time for much else! Except for the things I do well : Worry and Fret, Wiggle, Giggle, and Eat! I sleep well too but only when I'm not busy doing other awesome stuff. Hey I think old antique postcards are awesome. Do you? I know!! I wish I had my own antique store because killing two beebs with one stone : people-watching and making money. I'm hungry. I may have some cereal and strawberries as long as it doesn't push me over my calories for the day.  Why the fuck is spellcheck telling me strawberries doesn't exxist? Really smartass? Then what are these? *OM NOM NOM* seriously it's all 'straw' 'bear' 'berries' 'Brazil' damn it!

Speaking of Brazil I saved a spider today that was stuck between the screen and the window but really I didn't because it could get out on its own but it was real cute and furry and had beady little million eyes and was all 'hello' and I was all 'what's up!?' because spiders are friendly. He's back again between the glass and screen and just hangs out looking in. It's sorta like having a stalker that you don't mind seeing you! Sometimes at night before bed I turn the flashlight on and aim it at the wall and practice making shadow shapes! I like that!
See Ya!